A young lady is engaged to be married. However, she discovers that her husband to be is addicted to internet pornography. She seeks counsel from her father concerning this issue. He shares for her not to worry about this issue. He states that the young man will discontinue the internet pornography once they are married and gratifies his sexual needs within marriage. She comes to you for pre-marital counseling and shares this concern with you.
- As you studied the doctrines of man and sin, what are the issues that relate to this situation?
- What is your counsel to the young lady concerning her future husband’s addiction to internet pornography?
A Theology of Biblical Counseling: The Doctrinal Foundations of Counseling Ministry
Response
Two issues pertaining to the doctrine of man relate to internet pornography, the image of God and the body and soul (Lambert, 2016, pp. 184-203). First, Michael Heiser (2015) explains that Hebrew grammar clearly identifies the phrase, image of God, as a status, not an ability, as all believers are God’s creation, marred by sin, and restored to God through Christ (pp. 42-43). Accordingly, the job of the counselor is to help individuals become who they are already are, a reflection of the Imago Dei. Next, Heath Lambert (2016) asserts a dichotomous anthropology where the physical body is highly valued, and the soul consists of the inner man, which houses individual’s volition, cognition, and emotion (pp. 192-197). Importantly, the process of divine imaging occurs from the inside-out, where bodily activities are “guided by their souls” (Lambert, 2016, p. 197).
The doctrine of sin relates to internet pornography in three ways: dealing with the effects of sin, dealing with personal sin, and dealing with the sins of others (Lambert, 2016, pp. 219-227). Original sin ultimately affects mankind’s motivations, thinking, emotions, bodies, relationships, and the world (Lambert, 2016, pp. 219-225). Dealing with sin consists of identifying, confessing, and repenting from sin (Lambert, 2016, pp. 228-234). Dealing with the effect of other people’s sins consists of recognizing that everyone is a sinner and addressing the subject of forgiveness (Lambert, 2016, pp. 235-246). Lambert (2016) explains that “the standard for our forgiveness of others is God’s forgiveness of us” (p. 236). Furthermore, Lambert (2016) contends that God only forgives those sins that are humbly confessed (p. 244). If Lambert is correct, then it appears God neither forgives unknown sins nor future sins, which risks an insufficient sacrifice, thus scholars often nuance Lambert’s assertion (see MacArthur, 1998, pp. 53-66).
When counseling the lady, I would apply the doctrines of man and sin. First, I would remind the lady that her fiancé is made in the image of God and restored to God by Christ. Second, I would explain that God honors the physical body and sexual desire. A man’s attraction to a woman and her body is healthy; however, when her fiancé’s cognitions, emotions, and volitions distort the goodness of creation the soul drives sinful behavior. Third, I would explain that pornography often causes women to feel physically “not good enough,” but that his issue has nothing to do with her. Fourth, I would encourage her to discuss the issue non-defensively and encourage him to get help. Fifth, I would explain that addictions are often coping mechanisms; thus, her fiancé’s solution is not simply to try harder to stop. Instead, her fiancé must capture his distorted thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5, English Standard Version), renew his mind (Romans 12:2), and appropriate Christ’s righteousness (Lambert, 2016, pp. 229-234). God’s truth can transform him. Finally, I would remind her that all humans sin, and she can free herself of any bitterness by extending the same forgiveness to her fiancé that her heavenly Father extends to her.
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References
- Heiser, M. S. (2015). The unseen realm. Bellingham, WA: Lexham.
- Lambert, H. (2016). A theology of biblical counseling: The doctrinal foundations of counseling ministry. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
- MacArthur, J. (1998). The freedom and power of forgiveness. Wheaton, IL: Crossway.
