David Earley explains that embracing the Cross means saying no to my interests and being “willing to have nothing other than Jesus.”[1] My current level of embracing the cross is quite difficult to assess but would likely fall within a range between three and four. Although numerous instances exist, two specific examples provide an explanation for my assessment.
I graduated from college at the top of my class with a degree in accounting, passed the CPA exam prior to graduating, and landed a job with a prominent international consulting firm. After a number of years with Deloitte, I decided I needed more. I started a construction company and grew it to one of the top companies in the Midwest by the age of thirty. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I started waking up at night in pools of sweat, and then in the mornings, I would start crying in my office for no apparent reason. My doctor diagnosed me with severe anxiety, prescribed me an addictive form of anti-anxiety drugs, and encouraged me to hire a counselor. My value and worth had become completely connected with my career and it was time to abandon my interests. Accordingly, I gave up my career.
Another area of my life that needed relinquished was sex. I married my wife twenty-five years ago this June at the young age of twenty. I spent the first decade of marriage arguing about sex. I wanted more sex and she was not interested. Accordingly, I would attempt to manipulate and control her by using various tactics such as buying flowers and shaming her. At age 32, I gave up sex.
Luther’s Theology of the Cross: Martin Luther’s Theological Breakthrough
Relinquishing my career and sex had a profound impact on my life. First, in both areas of my life God was asking if I was “willing to have nothing other than Jesus.”[2] In other words, was it possible to find value, worth, meaning, happiness, and purpose in a career or sex? The answer was obviously a resounding, “No.” Second, an amazing shift began to occur once I abandoned my need for a career and sex by living life in a way that Christ was enough. Regarding my career, my anxiety began to decrease because I stopped pushing so hard. I started treating employees, suppliers, and subcontractors more like human beings than machines. Empowerment replaced micromanagement and an energetic atmosphere replaced a suppressive environment. Paradoxically, my career and business began to thrive. Regarding sex, I decided Christ was enough and that I did not need anything from my wife, thus I began loving her unconditionally. Without the need for sex, my anger subsided, which eliminated the manipulation and control. For example, when I brought home flowers my wife would graciously accept them rather than rolling her eyes. Paradoxically, in the absence of manipulation, control, shame, and guilt my wife actually started to enjoy living with me again. Jesus masterfully explains the paradox: “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39 NASB). I tried finding my life in my career and sex and lost it. However, when I lost my career and sex life and trusted in Christ to meet all my needs, I found it.
The Lord is obviously not done with me. He is currently pressing me to abandon other areas of my life to Him. Over the last number of years, I have struggled with various health issues, which has elevated my anxiety. God is asking me to give up my health. Of course, this does not mean giving up on life. It simply means that God wants me to give up needing my health in order for me to feel peace, fulfillment, or completeness because I am already complete in Him. Furthermore, I am sensing that God may be asking me to give up my financial security. Although God has not confirmed a complete redirection into ministry or other volunteer initiatives, it is with a positive expectancy that I look forward to what God may be asking me to “give up” next.
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[1]. Liberty University, “Presentation: Embracing the Cross,” Liberty University Web site, Microsoft Silverlight file, 2:54, http://bb7.liberty.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_1942950_ (accessed April 4, 2013).
[2]. Ibid.
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