Wright (2012) comments, “A bereaved person, no matter his or her age, needs safe places, safe people and safe situations.” As a pastoral crisis caregiver, how would you offer these crucial elements to those in the midst of a death crisis?
The Complete Guide to Crisis & Trauma Counseling: What to Do and Say When It Matters Most!, Rev. Ed.
Response
A safe environment is a critical part of all forms of counseling, but especially for bereaved individuals. Norman Wright (2011) suggests that a safe environment includes safe places, such as familiar surroundings, safe people, such as friends and family, and safe situations, such as roles that create purpose without creating stress (pp. 263-264). Wright provides a number of basic crisis intervention procedures that generally assist in creating a safe environment for bereaved persons, which include active listening, assessing needs, normalizing grief responses, realistic reassurances, support for effort, creation of attainable plans, educating, and attending to emotional degradation (pp. 164-165). Wright’s basic guidelines form a foundation of safe support for bereaved individuals. However, specific guidelines that support each category of safety is valuable in attending to those experiencing loss.
First, safe people are those who provide compassionate care. Cathy Quinn (2016) suggests that the type of relational care that supports the bereaved is “epitomized by kindness, openness, trust, dignity, mutual respect, collaborate care, sensitive and honest communication, consistent and accurate information, guidance, and support” (p. 562). Furthermore, Kath Peters, Colleen Cunningham, Gillian Murphy, and Debra Jackson (2016) offer additional ways to be safe people by highlighting the importance of the caregiver helping the bereaved feel understood, share experiences, and problem solve (p. 419). The research providing guidance regarding how to be safe people is supported by the Apostle Paul’s words to the Galatians, “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatian 6:2, New American Standard).
Safe places are also supportive of the healing of bereaved individuals. According to Quinn (2016), a safe place is a location where quality information is provided and effectively communicated in a calm, caring, fashion (p. 564). Furthermore, Peters et al. (2016) reference research that suggests that peer support groups are an effective way of providing safe places for the bereaved, especially those groups who have experienced similar loss, offer a space to speak freely, and normalize the grief response (pp. 420, 423). Not surprisingly, random acts of kindness also helped the bereaved experience a safe place to open up and share experiences (Peters et al., pp. 420, 423).
Finally, safe situations complete the trilogy of care that supports those experiencing the loss of a loved one. Liberty University (n.d.) references David Switzer’s four-point process of meeting the needs of a bereaved individual. The bereaved first need a non-judgmental environment, followed by an affirmation of self-worth, encouragement to reinvest in new experiences, and finally, assistance in rediscovering meaning (Liberty, n.d.). A final issue that needs addressed is the topic of finances. According to Peters et al. (2016), depending on the type of loss, the bereaved may be left in a situation of financial strain or even destitution (p. 424). Assessing the financial need and garnering financial assistance also provides a safe situation for the mourner. In sum, the caregiver has multiple resources, both personally and corporately, to offer bereaved individuals so they may be supported with safe people, places, and situations.
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References
- Liberty University. (n.d.). A crisis of loss [Video presentation].
- Peters, K., Cunningham, C., Murphy, G., & Jackson, D. (2016). Helpful and unhelpful responses after suicide: Experiences of bereaved family members. International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, 25(5), 418–425.
- Quinn, C. (2016). Creating and maintaining compassionate relationships with bereaved parents after perinatal death. British Journal of Midwifery, 24(8), 562–566.
- Wright, H. N. (2011). The complete guide to crisis & trauma counseling: What to do and say when it matters most. Minneapolis: Bethany House.
